It is said that you should never kill child in you. You should keep child in you alive. And, it's true !!! Children are innocent little ones who are honest and clear heart among humans. If you are in stress or little bit depressed, play with a little child or toddler and your stress will disappear. Apart from this you can learn many things from them like innocence, smiles and laughs, finding happiness in little things, curiosity and desire to get what they want.
However, children in today's world are facing extreme burdens of education, expectation of parents, competition and various other pressures & issues. We are talking big things but ignoring problems that kids face. Children are the future of world but unfortunately they are ignored among so called big things and developmental issues along with social culture.
I will talk about it in other articles some other day. But, one thing , I was bound to throw light on it,how we treat children ?
I am single and not an experienced one on parenting but what I could saw...what I feel usually made me raise this point here.
We often talk give respect and take respect.
Sometimes, this is misunderstood among adults as ego. Apart from this, we want respect if we are giving respect. You also feel that you should be listened and should be given importance.
Sometimes, how you treat your child is the base of who he or she will become and how he or she feel inside. Their personality is greatly affected by behaviour of elders they face in their childhood.
Let me tell you a true example here that made me write this article. I was in a city for engagement ceremony of my cousin. She is a cousin to me and my bestfriend too. We often share with each other our thoughts, experiences and problems etc.
When I was there, she took me to introduce me to her new neighbours. The family included a couple and their two little kids. One was 8years old and other was 6years old.
Both were too cute pretending to be sincere and mature but uncomfortable. When the couple introduced them to me, they started telling about their education. There was a sign that they were overburdening their children. I noticed when the kids laughed and showed simple general innocent childish gestures, their parents scolded them and pinched them by words. Father was shouting at them and mother was making remarks.
They served some refreshment to us with coffee. We were busy in talks and suddenly, one of the child took a biscuit from the plate served to us. I was shocked that father started shouting at them madly. This anger reached to the ego and he started telling kids in ego that they are stupid and duffers..They don't have manners..They don't know how respectable their father is. He didn't stop here and said he is a well renowned person in the society and maintains a high status. He insulted them saying they are getting food, clothes and toys by him and they have no status..no one knows them individually. People know them because of him..They are nothing and no one cares about them.
I was extremely shocked and embarrassed now. I interrupted him and said it's OK they are just kids but he said that they should learn these things at this early stage only.
After few minutes, we returned home and I talked with my cousin sister on this event. She was also having same thoughts as I was having at that time.
I reached my city after attending ceremony but still feel that it was not good at all. If you are expecting a kid to be mature and sincere with burdens of studies and homework only, then you are ruining their childhood..their innocence. If you show anger to them on irrelevant simple things , they will learn anger. If you insult them, they will learn insulting others and no doubt one day they can insult you too. If you show them that you are doing favour when you are providing them food & clothing then they will start thinking that it is not love but a favour only. If you get angry on them..beat then when they tell you truth and show normal behaviour when they tell a lie, then they will start thinking telling a lie is better than telling a truth.
Children are like what we teach them, they will become apart from their original personality. They are clean hearted souls and your behaviour will have a great impact on their heart. Slowly, with time, all the things will be written on their heart by you and will be always there when they are grown up or become adults.
Often parents complain that their son or daughter who is grown up now behaves in a negative way. Some of them are the cases in which they have been mistreated by their parents in childhood. Adults and parents didn't pay attention on what kind of words they are choosing for their children, what gestures and horrible anger expressions they are showing to their small kids and how their voice is a violent shout which itself sounds like a misbehaviour. Then the parents didn't think but now that insult, their ego and shouting, being angry on silly small things have made them an adult with so much anger inside. In some cases, such kids become introvert. They are not social. They develop an inferiority complex or they become a misbehaving adult.
It's time to think on this issue. It's time to give it a Thought . They should be taken as preferences and adults should try to save children from such an exploitation. They should be taught goodness, humanity, honesty, truthspeaking and good manners in a good way. To teach them how to behave, first we should learn how to behave with kids.
You can also go for counselling on this if you want.
Kids are like water. Water takes the shape of utensil in which it is poured. Water is essential for survival and it is upon us whether we keep it pure or pollute it.
Children are same...things they experience in their childhood will have longlasting affect on them. And even you can say that it will become a part of their personality.
An experience made me write this article and i believe it is a very important issue. Now, if you also see what I had seen , then don't hesitate to interrupt because sometimes it is needed for good.
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Swatti Sharrma ß
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Author ~ Swatti Sharrma ß
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